Im Back

YES!

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A bird in the Office is worth two in the home

 Why is it that people you spend everyday with at work become more attractive, but if you’re in a long-term relationship they become less attractive?

I have seen it so often in my office where a girl who I originally think is completely asexual, after a while I start to think  ‘well maybe after a few beers, who knows?’

I can even pick it now when a new girl comes into the office. I’m like, “well she’s a 5 now, but she’ll be a solid 7.5 in 3 months”.

 

It’s the complete opposite though in a relationship. In the beginning, you’re so excited to see her half-naked, even a bit of side boob or lingerie action will keep you going for weeks. Then, after about a year she could be walking around naked rubbing lotion into her skin and you are far more worried about missing the handball segment on the Sunday Footy show.

What was Eric Benet thinking?
What was Eric Benet thinking?

You can see it in celebrity relationships most dramatically. Eric Benet marries Halle Berry and then after a few years he’s like, ‘nah she’s not doing it for me anymore, i’m gonna hit this other young hottie’.

 

 

 

 

I'll beat you with my umbrella, ella, ella...

Chris Brown lays the beat down on Rihanna. Now you know if she was a co-worker rather than his girlfriend he would’ve been super smooth “Forever” Chris Brown, rather than “Bobby Brown” Chris Brown. A girlfriend like Rihanna starts off at a 9 and works her way down to about a 4.5 over a long enough timespan.

 

 Classic example, Bill Clinton cheats on his wife Hilary Clinton, with ugly co-worker Monica Lewinsky. Monica was definitely a 5 when she started, but I’m sure after a few months Bill was talking himself into the fact that she’s an 8.5 and it’s worth risking his presidency, marriage, legacy and the state of the free world for a blow-job from a subordinate.

Bye Bye respect and public standing              lewinsky

Bye Bye respect and public standing
 That’s the affect of the office.

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Deep Throat

Two points from match point at the U.S. Open semifinals on Saturday night, the defending champion Serena Williams decided to verbally assault a defenseless line judge half her size with a racket in her face, yelling naughty words, shaking the ball in the officials direction while threatening bodily harm…. annnnd  as if that wasn’t enough she topped it all off  with an oath to her God that it would happen!

I swear to God, I'm fukin' takin' this ball and shovin' it in your fukin' throat… I swear to God."

I swear to God, I'm fukin' takin' this ball and shovin' it in your fukin' throat..I swear to God."

Serena was penalized a point for unsportsmanlike conduct and lost the match…… Gulp!

ball down your throat

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NFL 2009 bold predicitons

The Oakland raiders will be the surprise team of the year.

Michael Vick makes up a brand new offensive scheme called the Wild Dog

michael-vick-dog

Tony Romo starts to secretly date Lucy Liu. tmz.com snaps the first official  pictures

tony romo

Terrell Owens will get shot but not seriously injured. Kind of like the first time Tupac got shot but still came out of the hospital the same day kind of injured.

tupac

An Australian  finally win a super bowl ring.

afl nfl

The Detroit Lions will win a game this year.

Mark Sanchez will be ROY and his Jets will challenge New England for the division championship.

Neither the Steelers nor the Patriots will reach the super bowl.
The Vikings will win the super bowl, then Brett Farv raah will retire then un-retire before retiring and un-retiring from the NFL just after training camp finishes

MinnesotaVikings

Chad Ocho Cinco gets suspended for an over extravagant and highly inappropriate touchdown dance. Ron Artest of the Los Angeles Lakers twitters “that’s wack, ocho I got yo back!” Ocho Cinco see’s this and since he has some free time on his hands he flys down to L.A and catch a Lakers game and sits courtside next to Jack Nicholson.

ochocinco jack nicholson

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NFL Power Rankings

power rankings week 1

Finally the wait is over… power rankings are back

http://espn.go.com/nfl/powerrankings?season=2009&week=1

I think the second comment below the rankings by bradyisbetterthanmanning sums up how were all feeling!


nfl power rankings

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NINJUDD?

wbAFLjudd_wideweb__470x354,0

Behold my dragon finger wu-tang killabee technique!

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So the season begins…

….well the season within the season! The AFL finals race is here, at long last – sometimes I wonder why the season is so long, I mean what happened in round 4, or 7 or 15 for that matter that now has a real effect on eight teams quest for immortality… another topic for another time!  Six Victorian team, two interstate, balance has been restored and one would say it’s a fair chance the premiership cup won’t be travelling far from the ‘G post 5pm September 26!

Before that one day in September though we have three weeks of finals to get through, lets have a look at the matches, what you will see and what you won’t!

Adel v Ess – AAMI, Friday night

Adel v Ess

If last weeks effort by Adelaide is anything to take notice off… Essendon don’t bother getting on the flight! An awesome display by a team that many believe has the slightest of sniffs this September. Suspensions and the impact of such a physical game last weekend will see Essendon’s season over come Friday night, a season to be considered a success all the same.  Adelaide by 30 plus.

What you will see –

A dominate Adelaide forward line potentially wreck havoc! Something for all teams to worry about over the next few years; Otten, Porplyzia, Burton, Knights, Tippet, Hentschel and Dangerfield drifting in, good signs for the future!

What you won’t see –

Essendon’s characteristic run and carry. Jobe Watson needs a rest, Ryder is out, Prismall is out, Monfries and Stanton played their big game last week. well done Dons, hope not to see you back next year!

Geel v WB – ‘G, Saturday Arvo

Geel v WB

Absolute cracker ensuing! This will be a final to remember.  At this point of the season there is not much that separates these two teams.  Looking at the last eight weeks subjectively the Doggies should be all over this, however Geelong has been the dominate power of the AFL for two and a half seasons and may just be about to turn it back on.  evenly matched Brian Lake very well could be the difference here, Geelong’s much rated backline cant do much about midfielders that continually drift forward and kick goals, it will be up to the awesome talent located in Geelongs engine room to come to party and put a stop to this, because the form Lake is in he will bath up Tommy Hawkins, and the big Moon in the process!  Dogs by 10 points.

What you will see –

Ablett stamp himself as one of the truly great midfielders playing the game, but also the emergence of Shaun Higgins doing the job for the other side.  Keep an eye out for more Aker brilliance, 85,000 plus just means he will turn it on

What you won’t see –

A blow out, Geelong might start well, but just watch the Dogs fight back!

Bris v Carl – Gabbatoir, Satday Night

blue lion

Some sneaking work from Michael Voss has Carlton wondering what to expect come Saturday night, Simon Black looked gone against the Swans, if so why didn’t he come off? Hhhmmm! The blues had won three in a row, against some good teams coming into last weekend’s blowout against the Crows, not good prep before the finals.  Brisbane has been solid all year without being spectacular.  Carlton with two wins in Queensland this year should give them plenty of confidence. Blues by 20 plus points.

What you will see –

Simon Black playing and Brendan Fevola lighting up the Gabba.  Eights goals last time to Fev and you can expect the same this time round, no backman for the Lions leaves the door open for 10!

What you won’t see –

A display from Carlton’s midfield like last week.  stinging criticism from Terry ‘sunbed’ Wallace will have Murphy, Gibbs, Scotland and Judd running both ways like they were back doing the beep test!

StK v Coll – ‘G, Sunday

magpies

Game of the round.  Collingwood in cracking form, till last week, and the Saints putting together a remarkable 20-2 season, although slightly losing their way towards the end.  I’m slightly worried for the St Kilda faithful that they may have peaked to soon, but with the quality of players they have, that sort of touch doesn’t just disappear, unless the focus does! Collingwood believe they are a huge chance to go all the way, the army will storm Melbourne from all over the country should they pull it off… might be time to mobilise the troops. Pies by 3 goals

What you will see –

Nick Riewoldt play like a man possessed. Time for the big blonde leader to stamp his authority on the game, will be the best centre half forward in the game come the end of the finals.  Keep an eye on Dale Thomas also, overdue for a hanger and with 90,000 plus in the stands may send everyone away with something to talk about

What you won’t see –

Luke Ball and Max Hudghton running around.  This will be the decision R Lyon will be amending next week when the saints look to avoid going out in straight sets!

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